I’ve been pondering on how to find a balance between boring anyone who may read this post and giving my Camino justice. I have settled on a day by day account. Hopefully I can include all I need to for me without going into too much detail as to bore you, the reader. If you make it to the end, congratulations and feel proud of your perseverance! My tenses change from past to present – just bear with it!
Day One – Antisocial
Setting off on a 790km Pilgrimage brings with it a whole host of emotions. Day one was possibly the most important of all – setting off with excitement, fear, sadness and joy. I had no clue what to expect as the sun beat down and I blissfully walked over the Pyrannees. Little did I know of the loneliness, tiredness, laughter, tears, injury, paranoia, fear, bliss and growth that was to follow. The walk over the mountains was long and uphill yet I didn’t find it hard. I was most definitely running on adrenaline. The evening saw me setting up camp in the woods then walking to the near by town for dinner. I was sat around a table with a whole host of nationalities – something I found greatness in as my journey progressed but I didn’t want to talk tonight. This was my journey and I was just about getting to grips with it.
Day Two – Irritable
On day two this seemed like a funny sign, a sign that made me smile and think, “Of course not, I’m off to Santiago” – and I sign I sat by for lunch! Reflecting on this sign who knew the truth in it. I had no idea how many times on my journey I would be telling myself to not stop walking. Just one more step. As the day went on I found myself getting irritable. Conversation brought about the concept of the word ‘passionate’. What am I passionate about? I hated that I couldn’t put an answer to this question. As I pondered on why my life was rubbish with no passion I walked past a group of Americans. By a group I mean TONS of Americans on a ‘Highlights of the Camino’ Tour. Really? This infuriated me somewhat. Obviously it was tourists like these who dropped the litter. Obviously it was these people who had no ounce of spirituality in them. Obviously they were here to ruin the quiet and ruin my journey. Wow. Stop for a minute and think. It took me until the following day but I found a place for this group on my journey. I didn’t really know their reasons for walking. And I’m sure they weren’t entirely responsible for each piece of litter!
The evening saw with it a search for a spot to camp. A tiny clearing in a wooded hillside found a place for me to pitch my bed and I lay on the path as the sun set, eating bread and pate. A young boy walked past with an old man and a dog. The young boy smiled, “Bon Appetit”, and the man looked at me amused. “What are you doing?” he said. His look turned from amusement to understanding as I smiled up at him quietly. A perfect end to my day of irritability.
Day Three – Living
One thing stood out for me today as I walked through Trinidad de Arre into Pamplona and up to Cizur Menor – how objects that look used and weathered are more beautiful (to me) than things that are pristine new. A small shack with a tiled roof greeted me as I walked through the morning sun. It was old, the colours of each tile had faded and chipped, but there it stood as a sturdy roof doing it’s job. I walked over a river and saw a weir to the left. It was overgrown and messy and not well cared for. If it wasn’t attended to at some point it would be blocked with weeds yet right now it was beautiful and functioning just fine. Maybe these things hit a chord with me, as I feel that way quite often. Overgrown and messy and weathered but still functioning and uniquely beautiful. I was at one with the old world around me. I was walking and needed to wash. I certainly wasn’t looking pristine and new! Yet I was living and following my path as well as I needed to be. And that is all that matters.
Day Four – Free
Up I climbed amidst a yellow sunrise to the top of a hill with 360 degree views. Wow. I sat with two Canadian girls as a young boy stopped to do Tai Chi in the fresh, open space around us. A statue of medieval pilgrims left me grateful for the development of technology that was making my journey more comfortable than theirs. I ambled on alone, singing to myself. An old man stopped me to show me almonds growing wild on the tree; I stayed their a while when he left cracking the shells with stones and enjoying the freshness of their taste. The boy I’d seen doing Tai Chi arrived and I offered him an almond. He was amazed when I showed him how I’d collected them off a tree and immediately climbed up to get his own. He asked me why I was walking the Camino. I said I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and wanted the time out to think. His response when I asked him the question was one that has stuck with me since. “This is exactly what I want to be doing with my life”. How true. That is why I was in Spain. Because I wanted to be. Walking the Camino wasn’t time out. It was real life.
Day Five – Balance
An American mam aged 66 touched me deeply today. We talked whilst walking up a steep hill. He’d walked the Camino before and like the time to reflect on his life back in Arizona. A good friend I’d worked with was from Arizona and I was left smiling at the memory. This man listened as I answered his questions about being young in the world we live in now and about my dreams and aspirations. I said I felt that what I wanted was out of my reach – partly because I wasn’t always clear on what it was I wanted. Out of his pocket he pulled a little dreamcatcher woven into a bracelet. He told me how they originated from Arizona and wished me every success with my dreams. The first of many Camino gifts.
Arriving in Estella for the evening left me contented and alive. I’d had a day of conversation and quiet. Of predominantly countryside but ending in a town. Of spending time with a boy of 22 and a man of 66. A balanced day that left me well.
Day Six – Pilgrim
The albergue I had stayed in had Nutella for breakfast. I was in my element!
It was the end of the day that felt my soul sour. Lying on the path, no building in site, having found a little straw pitch for my tent in a row of old vines. The sky was clear and the sun was setting leaving a yellow/orange glow. The sound of nothing but crickets was overwhelmingly loud. I’d walked until late, alone and quiet. This evening I sat and felt like a Pilgrim – whatever that really is.
An ant struggled at my feet to pull a grape along. Such persistence for the good of his community. What an impressive trait. Across the other side of the path wandered a beetle. He had no real direction and no other beetle in sight. Where was he going? Does he have thoughts and feelings? Does he get lonely? Every tiny stone was an obstacle in his path but slowly he’d find a way around and carry on. What a teacher that little beetle was.
Day Seven – Contentment
What perfection nature provides – humans really have something wrong!
This evening gave me the challenge of getting into the middle of three-tier bunkbeds! It may sound simple but I urge you not to laugh until you have tried it. It requires quite a complex bouldering manoeuvre which I did not execute with much grace!
Day Eight – Rushed
What a long, busy day. Today I lost some of the calmness I had been building during the last few days. Such a shame – but inevitable. I walked through Logrono – a busy, grey city with people and noises and lights and rain. I detoured to find a Decathlon for socks and camping gas and felt ‘behind’ for the rest of the day. When I reached my planned destination I couldn’t find a suitable camping spot. On and on I walked and on nearly reaching the next town was resigning myself to paying for a bed. At the entrance to the next town I found a little patch of old vines in front of a steep bank. Tucked behind the vines was perfect and as I sat I sighed and all the tension I’d carried throughout the day disappeared. Relief. The sunset ended the day as I meant to continue the next morning – open and spectacular.
Day Nine – Detatched
The morning saw me sat against an old church in the sun for over an hour. What a relaxing way to start the day. Walking on I found wild pomegranate, figs, more almonds, grapes and blackberries to feast on. Eating food straight off the plant has a really strong feeling with it. I’m not sure I can name this feeling but it connects me with the earth and I love it. Today I felt detached from the Camino. I didn’t want to walk and was too focussed on my destination for the evening. I walked alone with my head down. On reaching Najera (my end for the day) I sat under a tree by the river and felt an overwhelming rush of loneliness. I had no escape, there was noone I knew in sight so I just sat with how I was feeling – a success as I came to terms with my emotions, accepted they were there and felt lighter for doing so. The evening in Najera was magical but I felt on the edge. I cooked for a woman whom I’d met a few times and was exhausted. A local Spanish man came into the albergue and sang to me, in the eyes. A group of Pilgrims then started playing guitar and sang and the old Spanish man joined in. It was sensational but I felt alone. It reminded me of when I used to feel on the edge as a child at school. Everything happening around me was great but I just didn’t quite fit. At school I think it was because I was different – I enjoyed different things and thought in different ways but that night in Spain it was because I wasn’t letting myself join in. For fear of rejection? I don’t know but I learned a lesson and that’s what counts.
Day Ten – Flies
I can’t say a lot about this day other than I didn’t manage to control my irritability about the extreme mass of flies that had appeared. I couldn’t stay still, or sit, or even sit anywhere other than on my bed at the albergue else I was covered in flies.
Day Eleven – Home
Today the flies had gone and I had time to reflect on my downward spiraling emotions of the two previous days. I read a poem that helped:
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk being called sentimental
To reach out to another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self
To place your ideas and dreams in front of a crowd is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To try is to risk failure
But risks must be taken
The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing
People who risk nothing may avoid suffering and sorrow
But they cannot learn, feel, change, grow or really live
Chained by their servitude they are slaves who have forfeited all freedom
Only a person who risks is truly free
~ William Ward
That evening I arrived at a place called Granon. Up some little stairs to a church bell tower and this beautiful room was before me. Overlooking it was a big wooden floor with mats on for sleeping. I was home.
Day Twelve – Myself
I stayed in Granon for another day and night. I took time to practise yoga, meditate and write. I was taken out to lunch by an older Spanish man for Tortilla and Icecream! I helped with the chores as the hospitaleras turned the place over for the next intake of pilgrims. A shared meal followed by a meditation and sharing circle in the choir stalls of the church added to the unbelievable ambience of this place. I felt honoured to be a part.
Day Thirteen – Madness
“Have I gone mad?” I laughed to myself as I swung on swings and a man took my photo swinging with my pack on. I chatted to myself and sung as I walked/skipped to Tosantos, this coming evenings bed. On arrival I met the man hwo had took my photo again and his wife. He didn’t speak English but she did and turned out to be one of the most important people I met on my journey. I left my pack at the albergue and climbed up a hill to a tiny chapel built into a cliff. On return I found people leaving the albergue due to bedbugs. My internal madmess turned to external madness as I gathered up my things and took them outside. I climbed back to the church and shook out every item I had with me. I found a bug in my sleeping bag but did as thorough a job as I could at getting them out. I continued walking to the next albergue and arrived as the doors were being locked. I was bundled upstairs and then rushed straight back down. I had no food as Tosantos cooked a shared meal for donations but the people at the albergue shared with me. I had a great evening but was slightly paranoid as I went to sleep. Fortunately I woke up bit free.
Day Fourteen – Golden
Today was a day of beauty. The sunrise gave to golden skies and golden flowers. The sunflowers in the autumn are definitely past their prime but the atmosphere they create is mesmerising. They stand tall and proud despite their wilting petals. Good for them. I think I prefer sunflowers such as these, they speak to me more.
Day fifteen – Humility
Today started with a steep, long climb up. It also brought our first strong winds with rain. It helped me appreciate the sunny days I’d had to this point. Approaching Burgos I decided to walk further than planned to not stop in the city. I am not a city person – the pressure on my senses overwhelms me and I become insular. People don’t smile and greet one another, everyone seems to be rushing and the air tastes thick and dark. When I leave a city my shoulders physically drop as I relax. It’s an interesting observation – even when I try not to let it happen I still notice the change once I leave. Walking into Burgos, whilst making this decision, my knee starts having searing pains. I knew I’d pulled a muscle in my leg the day before and I can only imagine I’d been walking slightly differently to account for it. I could hardly make it into Burgos. My last 2.5km took over 90minutes. The hospitalero gave me ice, another pilgrim gave me anti-inflammatory cream and massage and people brought me what I needed so I could sit with my knee up. I genuinely feared that this would be the end of my journey as my knee has played up on and off for years.
Day Sixteen – Comfort
My knee was sore but I could walk when strapped up. I got given Arnica from an American Lady and Reiki from a Londoner throughout the day. The generosity on the Camino is just so humbling and really helped to restore my faith in humanity. The past few years had contributed to a lack of trust in people as a whole but this experience has really started to turn it all around.
The albergue I arrived at tonight was filthy – old earplugs under the pillow and black residue all around the bed. I got my money bag and moved to the next one where I was treated to a communal meal of real Spanish Paella – WOW!
Say Seventeen – Surprises
There were a handful of events that made this day one of my favourites. A rainbow so bright and full was part of my journey for much of the day. It made me realise how often I’ve stopped to take a photo throughout my life without stopping to really soak in what I’m looking at. This rainbow stopped me in my tracks and I enjoyed soaking up the moment.
The evening saw me at an albergue with a group of people I’d met along the way and had gotten closer to. I cooked for five and enjoyed this time together over a hearty meal. A young Korean was with us who was an actor in his own country. He’d come to walk to Camino with no money to bring him closer to God and get his feet back on the ground. He performed as a clown doing pantomime to earn his money and did a performance for us. It was SENSATIONAL. Every day the Camino brings a new surprise!
Day Eighteen – Beauty
It’s a beautiful day. “But it’s raining!” So what. It’s open, vast, majestic. The clouds have such textures – I’ve been walking towards the slither of blue in the distance. The sun is trying to push through but can’t quite make it. The different shapes and colours of the stones sat squashed in the mud add colour and joy to the path I follow. The squelching mud and splashing in puddles is childlike and I hear children laughing as I picture them playing. The tall grass to either side of me leans to the right and I find my head tilting too, at one with nature. The wind turbines seem to spin religiously but in fact are dependent on the wind – as humans we are so reliant on the elements, we need the earth. In the distance the raincoats and bag covers are a huddle of bright colours. In the fields the colours are also playful with yellows dancing amidst the greens and browns. The mist comes in as I summit, enveloping me in a deep hug. I feel peaceful, small and at one with what’s around me. A small painted red heart greets me as I find shelter to sit and a kind voice reaches out, “How are you today, Coral?” It is a beautiful day.
Day Nineteen – Needs
Last nights albergue was beautiful – tastefully decorated, spacious and warm. There was a wood burning stove which I loved. In front of the stove there was a long, soft chair. The woman who lived there was lay in it. When she got up to move she placed a sign saying ‘privado’ on the chair. The owners didn’t crack a smile and the atmosphere wasn’t comfortable. What a lesson in what is and isn’t important. The beauty of a place just doesn’t matter if the warmth is not there with it. People can make or break a place by a simple smile. It’s definitely something I will try to live by in my life – I’d rather people feel at home with me even if my surroundings aren’t the most luxurious!
Today I got the chance to machine wash my clothes – what a luxury. I’ve never really handwashed my clothes before and until now totally took for granted how great a washing machine is! I can’t believe the dirt that comes out of clothes when they’re washed! The evening took me to a parroquial albergue and Nuns led a singing session for us! We all joined in with song sheets and then sang a song each from our own country. The Koreans sang, then the French etc. Now it was my turn. There was one other British person who chose the song – Yellow Submarine by the Beetles. We started and my companion dropped out after the first line; they chose the song then couldn’t remember the words. So I sang all alone – red faced and nervous – but what a success! And a small fear overcome. The Pilgrim’s Blessing at the church was so moving. I cried and cried. The French girl I’d met in Tosantos and then again in Burgos just came and sat with me in silence. She didn’t need to say a word – her presence was just perfect. Sometimes just being there for someone with no words is the best thing you can do.
Day Twenty – Alone
Today had a 17.5km stretch in cold, wet fog. There were no hills, no bends in the path and I couldn’t see more than a few meters ahead. Every so often a farmer with a shot gun would come into sight, then vanish again. I was all alone with my thoughts.
Day Twenty One – Coexist
Waking up to the sound of cockerals was delightful (though less so at 05:30!) and set the day up well. A stunning view to set off to was great with a double rainbow in one direction and a sunrise in the other.
The evening was full of adventures – the most basic little place to stay (an old converted school house) nd no heating but a roaring fire. A couple were there who didn’t seem to fit the Camino bill. The ended up packing up and leaving. It had an odd feeling to it. I went to a little shop that evening – the door opened into someone’s hallway and a tiny man came out at the sound of the bell. He smiled a beaming smile and ushered me into his front room as he put on his blue apron. The room had been converted into the cutest little grocery store I’d ever seen! He watched as I gathered my groceries with such amusement and care in his eyes. He didn’t have enough bread so made a phone call and down the street we went to meet a man with a box of baguettes coming our way! After this he ushered me and the other pilgrims back inside for a photo! How lovely.
Day Twenty Two – Family
Just a lovely day walking partly alone and partly with a group of Australians.
Day Twenty Three – Chores
Into Leon – another BIG city on the Camino but surprisingly not so bag. The medieval centre was really quite nice. I visited the dentist with a fellow pilgrim, posted my tent on to Santiago (it’s gotten far to cold in the evenings now, plus the community feel of the albergues is partly what is making my Camino), sorted my finances and PIN and shopped for food. And breathe. Eating bread and cheese on the wall outside the Cathedral was magical but didn’t calm me enough to fully appreciate where I was. Today felt like I was existing and not living.
Day Twenty Four – Exhausted
With a short walking day planned I spent the morning mooching around Leon and taking in the sights.
From here I walked the ten or so kilometres I had planned to find the albergue shut. I headed on and found a water tap. It wasn’t working. The distance stretched out before me and seemed so long and never ending. I sang and meditated as I walked to help keep me motivated but it was a tough mental struggle. A beautiful stone arrangement on the side of the path lifted my spirits as the sun began to lower revealing a magnificent sunset.
Thirsty and tired I arrived in the dark at my destination. Paella greeted me but I found bedbugs in my bed. I moved the the other side of the room, quarantined my belongings and slept.
Day Twenty Five – Rescue
Rain, rain, rain but a quote to start my day that rang true: “Here inside of me is a force that makes its own weather, winning through thickest clouds to the shining sun”. Off I set with a heart desperately trying to feel light, a tired body and a wilting spirit. As I walked my head was busy with thoughts of what I was going to do next in my life. Did I want to travel or study or work or be a gypsy? Did I want to live a conventional life and have a relationship and a mortgage or did I want to follow what feels more natural but also harder? I’d scold myself for not being in the now but off my head would go again playing out scenarios. I really needed to accept where my head was at and gently try to bring myself back to the present moment but I just couldn’t. By the time I arrived in Hospital de Orbigo I was emotionally on my knees. The albergue I found had no hot water, no heating and no glass in the windows. I couldn’t hack it so I went in search of another one. I found an albergue ran by Buddhists and I cried as I entered. I’d found a sanctuary that was able to rescue my wounded spirit.
Day Twenty Six – Recovery
Day Twenty Seven – Realisation
Day Twenty Eight – Renewal
I didn’t go anywhere. I stayed in my Buddhist albergue and recovered. With a meditation room, yoga, guitars, communal vegetarian meals for donations and being sung to sleep one night (I felt like I was watching a movie, but no – it was MY life!) what more could I need. The trust and the welcome and the true generosity of the people here was moving. If you ever walk the Camino de Santiago stay at Albergue Verde.
Day Twenty Nine – Simplicity
Candles in a slice of toast, sunflower seeds wrapped in an old map of spain, a hair brush and chocolate – a perfect birthday morning. Being played ‘Happy Birthday’ on guitar by the Hospitalero and being sung to by fellow Pilgrims was a truly joyous occassion. I walked in my shorts and T-shirt in the blazing sun through beautiful fields, woods and village lanes. The orange of the autumn trees made my way bright and cheerful. Renewed after my break I set off again and loved every simple pleasure before me. I had found myself and I was alive.
The evening brought with it the worst albergue of the journey but it didn’t matter. I was given birthday hugs and gifts off pilgrims I had met along the way. I sat eating fresh bread, chorizo, tomato and onion in front of Astorga Town Hall for my birthday dinner and it was fabulous. A simple and perfect birthday.
Day Thirty – Gratitude
I was sat eating bread and butter for breakfast out the front of Astorga Cathedral. A man who was drunk and disabled asked for food but I declined. He caused no trouble and walked away. He sat a distance away, slumped with his head down. He was weak and looked sad. As I was leaving I took the last of my bread and found some biscuits in my bag. I buttered the bread and offered it to him with the biscuits. I greeted him as, ‘Senor’, a polite greeting, and he looked at me surprised and grateful. He took the food and started to eat. He had a bruised face and blood around his fingernails. How fortunate I am to be in my position. To be able to walk the Camino, eat well and have a bed to sleep in. There were times when I was desperate for food due to my addictions but I didn’t have to deal with a disability on top of it. I sent out Metta to the man later that day and at intervals further along my journey. I will do so again.
The albergue that evening was ran by the London Confraternity of St James. They served afternoon tea! On arrival I was asked if I’d come into contact with bedbugs as there were people coming through with them. I had a few bites on my body but they hadn’t itched much but I told them all the same. I had been told previously that if they don’t itch then they are not bedbug bites so I wasn’t concerned. One of the British volunteers was a doctor. He confirmed I’d been bitten by bedbugs and took me to an outbuilding. My possessions were all laid out on a plastic sheet to be sprayed with disinfectant and my clothes were put into black sacks to wash at a high temperature. He left so I could go into the shower and they provided clothes for me to wear whilst mine weere washing. It was professional and friendly and such a help. I had a duvet to sleep with and my things were ready to collect that following morning. What selfless help to give to pilgrims.
Day Thirty One – Realistic
Today I reached the high point of my journey at 1500ish meters. I expected a small mountain peak but it wasn’t – it was just a part of a path with a monument. Around me I could see peaks and initially I felt underwhelmed and disappointed. On reflection, how nice to be able to reach a high point without it having to be the very top. What a great philosophy for life. There were two quotes I saw written today which I feel are self explanatory – and maybe they will touch you in different ways to me:
My bites have started to heal today and now I itch! The itching has brought my attention to bites I didn’t even realise I had – my foot, leg, thigh, lower back, elbow, hands, chest, armpit,neck and two on my cheek. I am borderline going insane! That evening I arrived just as it was turning dark into Molinaseca – entering the albergue we found a lot of people had already left due to bedbugs. having just been disinfected I also wanted to leave. There was no other albergue in the town and it was dark. I didn’t want to pay the price of a hotal room. I ended up paying for a taxi to the next albergue. The relief of arriving after an emotionally charged day was huge.
Day Thirty Two – Cleanliness
I feel empty and broken. What are true needs and what is just the result of conditioning – things I believe I need because of my privileged western life? I crave cleanliness – it’s always been important to me. Bedbugs and itching make me feel dirty. I shower in a damp room with mould and hairs. I put on dirty clothes that leave me itchy. My wet, greasy hair gets dragged up. My bites are sore. I sit at a table with clutter and flies. I hear the drills of workmen upstairs – dust falls from the ceiling to my wet hair. I am tired, uncomfortable and desperate for quiet. I want to cry and cry but what use is that? I will turn this around. I think of the generosity, the humility and the inspiration I have found on my way so far. The colours of the trees, the old vines, the river and the pretty villages of today alone. I am strong and capable. I find myself singing, more contented. I am learning about myself daily and it is okay to feel tired. Life is good and these feelings will pass.
Day Thirty Three – Discomfort
My thoughts plagued me again today and I don’t recall making any effort to let them go. The evening saw me at a chestnut festival that happens once a year in a lot of the small towns in the region. It was VERY spanish! A lovely bonfire, chestnuts and free chorizo boccadillo! WIN!
Day Thirty Four – Expectations
Today was going to be a great day. It was meant to be a beautiful walk ending up in an atmospheric albergue ran by Buddhists! As with many high expectations, the day ended in disappointment. The walk was lovely but the last 2km took 2hours, walking with my poles as crutches, as I had excruciating pains shooting up my shins. Just as my knee had become fully comfortable to walk on again the shin kicked off. I arrived at my albergue close to tears with pain and fatigue. The albergue wasn’t what I’d pictured. It wasn’t overly clean and was damp. I did cry. It was quiet. Relief came with another pilgrim arriving. I questioned the hospitalero about a sign on the wall that mentioned they did massage for shins, tendinitis and back pain. He was friendly enough and helped me a lot. He said I was lucky to have got treatment on the first day of my pain and I’d be better tomorrow for a short walk. I was sceptical but he was right.
Day Thirty Five – Spirituality
I woke to Ave Maria being played throughout the building. After this a Buddhist Mantra came on and set me off in a great frame of mind. It’s worth remembering small things like this that I could incorporate into my daily life to start each day off positively. I crossed the border into Galicia and up into O Cebreiro – a gorgeous Galician village. A tourist in her fur hat and high heels offered me a sandwich. I assume she read somewhere that pilgrims are poor and she was doing her kind deed for the day. I graciously accepted – who am I to say no to someones kind offerings. The church had a poem wiin it. This is my lesson of the Camino. It sums things up better than I ever could:
Although I may have travelled all the roads,
crossed mountains and valleys from East to West,
if I have not discovered the freedom to be myself,
I have arrived nowhere.
Although I may have shared all of my possessions
with people of other languages and cultures;
made friends with Pilgrims of a thousand paths,
or shared albergue with saints and princes,
if I am not capable of forgiving my neighbour tomorrow,
I have arrived nowhere.
Although I may have carried my pack from beginning to end
and waited for every Pilgrim in need of encouragement,
or given my bed to one who arrived later than I,
given my bottle of water in exchange for nothing;
if upon returning to my home and work,
I am not able to create brotherhood
or to make happiness, peace and unity,
I have arrived nowhere.
Although I may have had food and water each day,
and enjoyed a roof and shower every night;
or may have had my injuries well attended,
if I have not discovered in all that the love of God,
I have arrived nowhere.
Although I may have seen all the monuments
and contemplated the best sunsets;
although I may have learned a greeting in every language;
or tried the clean water from every fountain;
if I have not discovered who is the author
of so much free beauty and so much peace,
I have arrived nowhere.
If from today I do not continue walking on your path,
searching for and living according to what I have learned;
if from today I do not see in every person, friend or foe
a companion on the Camino –
I have arrived nowhere.
Day Thirty Six – Slow
Today I walked via Samos and its monastery. What an impressive building. The plan was to sleep there but it had no heating and in November this did not appeal. On I walked and walked. The scenery was stunning and aside of my shin pain I really managed to appreciate it. When I finally arrived at an albergue I was greeted warmly and offered a bed in a twin room for the price of a dormitory room as it was low season – yes please. I sorted my things, showered and relaxed. The communal space was beautiful to just sit and be. I tied threads as I’d been taught previously on my Camino, it’s become quite a meditative practice for me now. This day was steady, but refreshing.
Day Thirty Seven – Appreciation
I had another rest day and went nowhere. With such a comfortable environment why move? I rested my leg with it up and basked in the sun. Somewhere between the start and now I have become clearer on what I will do next. Or more so, what I don’t want to do next. I feel a greater connection with myself. It’s a comforting feeling.
Day Thirty Eight – Rural
Now I thought I knew what rural life was but not to this extent. I saw a farmer forking his hay from a barn into a trailer! I followed a farmer with his cows along a lane for about thirty minutes. It was a surreal day with pure beauty. I felt at home and connected with the world around me. The night saw me in a, “Converted school house set in a leafy glade”. It was lovely but there was noone else there – an eery feeling to be all alone.
Day Thirty Nine – Desperation
A night alone in rural Spain left me feeling quite uneasy. Most the day I walked alone. I was very hungry and stumbled across a little stall with food and drinks set out by tables and chairs. There was a little box for donations – what a lovely thing to do.
I walked through sun and rain, feeling content but not at ease. On arriving at my albergue I found two English speaking women who greeted me warmly. Since taking days out I’d lost the community I’d been walking with and didn’t realise until this greeting how much I’d missed connecting with others. I cried (so many tears on my journey!) and felt a huge wave of relief run through my body. I laughed and talked and enjoyed the company – what you need the Camino provides.
Day Fourty – Enough
Today I feel alive with passion. I know what I am passionate about. I have always known. I know what work I want to go into for the short term. I want to study again. I’ve always known what I’ve wanted it’s just taken me time to tap into it. Whilst I feel at one with myself I feel somewhat more detached from the world. I thought walking the Camino would introduce me to people of a similar age who are also on a Spiritual journey and live an alternative life. This isn’t the case and if I can’t find these people here then where can I? I feel alone but okay. I have excitement for life after Santiago – for the first time in a long time returning to the UK seems like a promising option. I am ready to finish now. I am ready to stop walking.
Day Fourty One – Gifts
I was cooked pancakes for breakfast by fellow pilgirms – what a lovely gift. The suns rays burst through the clouds, I got given churros by a Korean woman, the full moon lit up the texture of the clouds and I felt overwhelmed as I spent the day taking in and remembering all the gifts of this journey. The evening saw me in a basic albergue with 11 men! One more day.
Day Fourty Two – Lessons
The day I arrived in Santiago was one of the most eventful days of my Camino both internally and externally. I cannot write about it at the end of such a long blog post – it doesn’t feel right. I will start a fresh post for Santiago soon. The ups and downs of my trip concluded here in a turbulent but also passive ending.
But one thing stands – I made it!
coralkent 
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